Leave No One
by MonsterBrat
Summary: Sirius, escaping from Askaban, steals a time turner and goes back to fix the night that ruined his life. When he returns, he finds things changed drastically. A Warning: this is not a happy fic. UPDATE: sappy sequal up!
1. Leave No One

Summary: Sirius, escaping from Askaban without knowing of Lupin or Peter, steals a Time Turner and goes back in time to stop Voldemort, once and for all. When he returns from his mission, however, Sirius finds out just why they don't give Time Turners to just anyone.

Warning: DEATH!fic. Major, major death fic. And no happy ending, either. And I guess mild slash or some major friendship vibes from the S/R side. And…uh, Weeping Lily. That's the scariest part of the fic. 

Disclaimer: Be assured that if I did own Harry Potter, which I DON'T, it would still be nothing like this. Instead there would be major S/R smoochies and no more of that Sirius being dead stuff. And there would be a Marauder-time prequel series which I would also NOT OWN. 

A/N: Ok, I'd suggest a major sap fic ready after this one, because this is one of those fics that end up hopeless, sad, and most likely dead. If I was willing to look at this long enough to do a sequel or an epilogue, Sirius would die in it and the world would fall to eeevvvilll. Rest assured I will not write anything further on this, so if you want to come at me with pitchforks and torches you can only blame my death on this one fic. Ok, now that you're in the right mood for a flame, R&R!!!! 

Leave No One 

It takes him forever to get into the Department of Mysteries, and later he has to sleep in a corner there while he searches for the room where they keep the Time Turners. Sirius is used to sleeping on the ground and starvation, but the cold, buzzing feeling the wards on this place emit are making him dizzy and irritable. When he finally stumbles on the right room by accident he's so happy he almost forgets to prop the door open and change the mark on the entrance that leads out of the department. He's done that once before and nearly ended up trapped.

The shifting light of the room, together with the strange feeling from the wards on it and his hungry lightheadedness make him stumble. Sirius almost knocks a large vase (the source of the strange light) off of a table before he gets to the Time Turners. Taking a little silver one on a chain, he examines it carefully before putting it on. The thing has a moon crescent on it and that, together with the silvery shine, makes him think of Remus. He hasn't seen the man in thirteen years and Moony probably thinks he's a murderer, but the reminder still makes him smile.

He hasn't tried to contact Remus to clear his name, not that he has much of a chance without proof. The first thing Sirius did after getting away from Askaban was come here. If this goes right, he'll have thirteen years with Remus, and with James.

He tries not to think too much about the technicalities of time travel. The circular pattern his thoughts tend to take make his already aching head feel like fire. 

_…if I go and warn everyone about Pettigrew, then James would never have died, I would never have landed in Askaban…we could even set a trap and kill Voldemort when he thinks he's going to be doing a massacre at their house. But then I would never have thought to go back in time to warn them and…_This is one of the things that makes him hate time travel, but after thirteen years of hell Sirius is willing to ignore it for a chance at reliving his life properly. Trying not to think about it too hard, he takes the paper on which he wrote his calculations. Sirius isn't sure of the date today, as he doesn't have the nerve to ask anyone or find a newspaper stand, but he knows roughly how many turns it would take to get him to a day before James's death. At most, he hopes, he'd be an hour or two later than he'd planned and have to steal a broom to get to them. 

As he begins turning, counting carefully, Sirius thinks of what he'll do when he gets back. _First a visit to James and Lily, just to see them and how Harry is doing…then on to finding Remus and getting our life back on track. Perhaps I could get a job as an Auror again…_In his mind, the silent mantra that hasn't left him since he got out of Askaban almost two months ago plays behind his thoughts. 

_Today's the day my life will change…_he gives the Time Turner another twist, counting down to three.

_…I'll live like I wanted to again…_Sirius smiles as he turns the bauble again, clutching his wand and feeling the anxious beating of his heart. 

_…and all of this will be just another nightmare._ The final twist comes easily and he lets the Time Turner fall back on its chain. Before it falls, time seems to slow and then lurch into super speed, sending him into darkness. Sirius feels nothing as the years rush by, seeing only darkness and the silver glint of the Time Turner on its chain. 

He would have laughed if he could, but everything is numb, as if his body doesn't exist. It feels like seconds and an eternity before sound and sensation return, followed by sight. When everything finally stops and he comes out of the stupor the spell put him in, Sirius feels his legs give way and collapses, breathing hard, in the cool, shifting light of the room in the department of mysteries. 

Taking a deep breath of air that doesn't seemed to have changed, he sits up and wonders if it worked properly. Looking around, it seems as if nothing has changed. When he gets up, however, Sirius notices the shelves where the Time Turners used to stand. There are only half a dozen there, the rest of the shelves being occupied with other odds and ends.

_That's right…time turners were the newest thing back in the eighties…_He sees amongst these the small silver one, a double to the one around his neck. It looks brand new and shines in the light from the jar on the table next to it.

The anxious butterflies are still in his stomach as Sirius walks out of the time room and into the circular one. Immediately, the walls begin to spin. Watching the doors go around, Sirius suddenly remembers that he doesn't know which one is the exit. He signs, waiting for the room to stop spinning before picking one. 

It takes him only a few moments to find the exit. Luckily, It's the third room he chooses. Sirius is so happy he nearly bounds right out without checking for ministry members. His luck holds, as there is no one there and it's nighttime. The lights are off and Sirius mutters "lumos" before proceeding down the hall and towards the elevators. He encounters no one on the ground floor except for the guard, who doesn't notice him before he is stupefied. Walking past the Fountain of Magical Brethren, Sirius almost feels like whistling. Today will be his last day as a murderer. 

Outside, he picks up a current newspaper from a stand before signaling the Knight Bus. Sirius has had to resort to stealing from a small shop in a Wizarding village he'd passed, taking only enough to guarantee himself two extra rides on the Knight Bus. He sits silently after he pays the rough, truck-driver looking character at the wheel. His hand shakes as he clutches his wand, thinking of the life he'll have again; a godson, James and Lily alive, living with Remus as they'd planned to after Hogwarts. Everything that was cruelly interrupted will be returned to him. 

_Today's the day my life will change._ He thinks silently. It isn't until the paper rustles nosily that Sirius remembers he still isn't sure of the date.

Looking down absently, he has to check twice before the idea sinks in. He'd miscalculated. Today is the day. Quickly going over his calculations, Sirius finds nothing wrong; it must have been that he didn't have the right date to begin with. No matter. Looking at the large clock handing behind the driver, he sees that it's two AM. James and Lily had died at about five in the morning. It's enough. No one would expect him, it's enough. Perhaps he'll kill Voldemort before he gets to the Potters. From behind while he's distracted. Sirius has learned that people are equally dead if killed in a fair fight or a cowardly rouse. And for James…anything.

The bus drives on, the familiar bang and toss of it a comfort. Inside, Sirius is shaking with the enormity of what's about to happen. He doesn't think about the future, about anything much at all. The butterflies in his stomach are fluttering like mad and in the calm beneath his fear and elation, the mantra is repeating itself.

_Today's the day my life will change._ He dozes for a bit, dreaming of good memories. In Askaban he'd forgotten them, almost went insane in the damp darkness. Now, he sleeps and dreams of his fifth year summer, spent with Remus in Diagon Alley. No parents, no restraints, nothing but the good weather and fair companionship. When he wakes up it's the driver shaking him roughly. His sour breath is on Sirius's cheek, stirring a bit of his matted hair and tickling his ear. The bus has arrived at Godrick's Hollow. 

Sirius stands and checks the clock before getting off the bus. 4:30 AM: an hour early. Shaking happily, he gets off and watches the Knight Bus disappear into the night with a bang. He turns around, looking for the familiar house, and pauses.

There's something wrong. Sirius advances and examines the cottage closely, finally finding the lock melted off the door. The metal is still hot and as he charges ahead, Sirius spares no time to wander at the change in timing. Probably it's just another miscalculation of his. As he walks past the empty living room, Sirius signs in relief. James had died here.

He isn't anxious anymore, Sirius notes wryly. The shaking and butterflies have faded and left an empty, determined strength. He'll have time to celebrate later. Plenty of time.

Looking around, Sirius notices something on the couch. Still numb, he approaches silently, the mantra repeating in his mind. Peter sits back, reclining by the banked fireplace. He doesn't notice Sirius as he stands behind him. Knowing there is no time for everything he wants to say to the bastard, Sirius pulls out his wand, clutching it until his knuckles feel about to burst, and says "Avada Kedavra" very quietly. The green light hasn't even faded before he's moving again, into the hall leading to the bedrooms and bathroom. In the strange, happy numbness Sirius doesn't even feel the elation he'd been waiting for.

He comes upon them dueling in the hall, Voldemort's back to him. James is so concentrated on keeping up his shields he doesn't even notice he's being toyed with. Sirius stands, silently, behind the pair. His wand is still clutched in his numb hand and he points it at Voldemort almost sluggishly, feeling nothing in particular. He whispers the killing curse, and then again when he thinks it might not have worked. Everything seems almost pathetically easy. 

The greatest Dark Lord in a hundred years crumples to the floor. Sirius hasn't thought of it before, but he's never actually even _seen_ Voldemort. It's strangely comic, not knowing what such a famous person looks like when he knows every one of his followers. Sirius still has lists of them in his mind. 

Beyond the corpse, James is staring at him. Sirius realizes he must look a mess, with his tattered robes. He doesn't know how much thirteen years have changed him, Sirius hasn't even looked in a mirror yet. As he looks up, seeing James there, alive and well, breaks a chink in the numbness and goes past the insane elation of the moment to the sadness lurking underneath. He feels the tears sliding down his cheeks, not bothering to stop them or wipe them away. The last time he'd seen James was as a corpse in his ruined home.

"…Sirius?" The wand that he was clutching so hard clatters to the ground, forgotten, and he's hugging James before he even knows it. In his mind, even the mantra stops and everything goes quiet, except for his sobs. His hands shake as he gathers James' robes to himself. 

"God, Sirius…what's happened to you?" He doesn't say anything about Voldemort being dead, or about how he knew they were coming. Sirius knows what James must be thinking: "was he a traitor or a spy to have known?" He doesn't answer the unspoken question, instead hugging his friend harder until it feels as if James' ribs might crack. He's missed this, the simple act of touching someone. Thirteen years alone in his cell might have made him skittish of these things, except this is _James,_ who was dead. 

"What…" Lily comes out and stands in front of him. She cradles little Harry in her arms and stares at him, not knowing what to think. Sirius looks at this perfect picture and cries harder. How much has he missed them, these living, real people? How many times did he try to remember their wedding, only to have it sucked out of him along with everything else?

"…Sirius…?" He clutches at James until he runs out of tears and the shaking, butterfly-creating elation returns. After a few moments, Sirius stands back and looks at his old friend. The mantra begins again, those sweet words repeating in his mind. 

_Today's the day my life will change._ He's shaking like mad, wanting to touch James again. This is like looking at a living picture out of the albums that were confiscated from him: James, Lily and Harry as they have always been in his mind, young, in love, newly married. Suddenly he wants to see Remus more than anything else in the world, look at him and think that everything is fine, Askaban hasn't happened. He'd never doubted Remus' loyalty. Sirius feels very old, looking at them. Voldemort's corpse still blocks the hallway where he'd stepped over it, and Sirius almost trips stepping back. He knows he has to go back, before he's overcome. He knows he can't stay here, that at the very least he has to get back to the time he left and proceed from there. He can find everyone in his own time again. 

He walks away backwards, stumbling like a lunatic, unable to take his eyes off of James and Lily and little Harry in his blanket. All of them alive and well. Sirius sees their confusion and, not knowing what to say, tells them the truth.

"I'm from thirteen years in the future. I just saved your lives. I have… I have to go." He tries to turn around and run, before he decides to stay in this little piece of heaven. The sight of Peter's corpse, still slumped on the couch, finally snaps him out of it. Sirius takes one good look at the three of them, fixing them in his memory, and then tears out the door and towards the road, summoning the Knight Bus before they can come after him. 

The bang announces its arrival, and Sirius races inside and doesn't look back, collapsing with exhausted happiness only after they have jumped back to the streets of London. He shakes for the rest of the trip, unable to stop his mantra until he's whispering it out loud, too, like a lunatic.

"Today's the day my life will change…" The Time Turner bumps against his chest as the bus groans and bumps its way to the abandoned street above the ministry of magic. Sirius jumps off and races to the telephone, dialing wrong a few times before he's allowed in. Uncaring of appearances now, he tells the woman that he's a returning time traveler. The card has his business printed with a pretty green flourish. 

Sirius tries to walk casually when he reaches the reception room, feeling giddy and light. Soon he'll see his life as it should have been, perfect. Maybe someone will figure out when he'd come from and come greet him, though it isn't likely. 

He duels with the guard casually, eventually leaving him rigid as a board on the floor. Walking past the empty halls, he makes his way to the department of mysteries. He checks the clocks, finding himself about five minutes early. It would be best if he doesn't see himself coming back. Sirius takes out the creased paper with the number of turns to take, counting carefully, the mantra repeating in his mind. Sirius can't wait to get back to his own new world. 

The magic is smoother this time, and he ends up in the exact same place, with the exception of a new coat of paint on the walls and the new, modern looking elevators standing just down the hall from him.

Reaching the department he's seeking, Sirius waits for what he thinks to be about enough time in the circular room, then makes his way to the door Sirius-of-half-an-hour-ago has considerately marked before departing. The time room is empty, thought Sirius wasn't _really_ expecting anyone. He takes the time turner and puts it back where it was, feeling some of the giddiness leave with it. 

Now, he can finally go to see everyone. He wonders if he's a hero now, for killing Voldemort. What is he doing? Are Remus and he still living together as they had before Askaban? Sirius isn't entirely certain how all of this works, but he assumes there wouldn't be two of him. Before, he half expected to get completely different memories when he came back, from the life he'd supposedly lived. Oh well, Sirius doesn't particularly care if he has to get used to living free again. Everything is good now. He'll adjust to peace as he had adjusted to imprisonment.

He walks away from the Department of mysteries with ease, having left himself marks on the door that leads out. The clocks tell him it's about 1 AM and he whistles as he walks, finding the guard still very much stupefied. He bows comically to the Fountain of Magical Brethren; feeling like his life has started over. And it has.

He checks his pockets for more money while he summons the bus and finds just enough for one passage. When it arrives, Sirius pays the driver–a pimply fellow who looks him over and raises an eyebrow. Sirius assumes his strange expression had probably sacred the boy into silence. He naps as they ride, then looks the other passengers over. A lady dressed not much better than him sleeps on the coverlet of her bed, and an elderly man practices transforming his black cat into a rabbit in the corner. A couple of kids who look to be runaways are snoozing near the stairs leading to the second floor. 

Smiling, Sirius spends the night thinking of a plan. He'd asked to be let off at Diagon Alley, to get some money and proper cloths. Then, he can get a broom and go to Godrick's Hollow to check for the Potters. It's summer; perhaps he can finally meet thirteen-year-old Harry. They'll tell him everything and when he's cleaned up he can meet Remus again, get back to his life. There is no rush; everything would sort itself out in the end.

The boy's squeaky voice calls that they've arrived, and Sirius gets off feeling very good indeed. The Leaky Cauldron is little different than he'd remembered, though as he walks in a fellow named Tom greets him as the owner. The last time he'd been here an elderly lady had owned the place. Sirius remembers that Remus used to like her tea.

He waves to the occupants, ignoring their stares, and walks out to back, tapping the bricks without a second thought even after all these years. The spell seems a little sluggish, but Sirius doesn't notice anything until he can see Diagon Alley. 

He gasps, looking around. The elation he'd felt fades, to be replaced by numbed horror. In his earliest years, Diagon Alley, along with Hogwarts, had represented the normalcy that he could go to when his home fell apart. Now, after he has survived hell, it seems like it has failed him.

The stores are closed, though that in itself isn't unusual at 1 AM. The thing that tipped Sirius off is the lack of any wares displayed outside, or the colorful decorations and signs that used to hang about. The few stores that still seem to be working are the owl post office, Gringott's, the Apothecary, and Ollivander's. Everything else has either been replaced with shady little stores closed for the night or been left abandoned. Madam Malkin's had been demolished and is now a hole in the ground.

Sirius stares, wondering. _Is this the future?_

Shaking his head, he walks towards the bank that's open, thankfully, at all hours. The goblins stare but say nothing as he produces his key from where he stowed it on a golden chain around his neck. It had once hung in the offices of Askaban by this same chain, and wearing it is both exhilarating and dirtying.

He fills the stolen purse with money, noticing that most of his stash is gone. Ah, well, Aurors work pays well if you know what you're doing.

_Not much work now, without a dark lord…_

He smirks, annoying the goblin cart driver without meaning to. As he exits the bank Sirius is already counting out knuts and sickles for the bus. When he sticks out his wand the bang is sooner than expected. It must not have gotten very far.

He gives the pimply fellow enough money for a cup of cocoa, too, but only drinks half of it before the bus stops for him. Sirius takes it with him, walking off the bus and towards the silent house on the hill. Their little two-story cottage looks almost as dismal as it had when he'd been here last, thirteen years ago, but there's a light shinning in the downstairs window.

_Strange, that…wonder if Remus is staying over again, always the nocturnal one…_He walks up the doorstep, smelling the rosemary that Lily has growing in a pot on the front porch. Everything isn't as depleted as he'd first suspected, rather, the night has only hidden the new coat of paint on the door. He bangs on the familiar griffin head knocker, not particularly worried about waking everyone. With that thought comes the wonderings:

_Did they have another child…?_

The door is opened sooner than he'd expected by a haphazardly dressed witch in a dark blue robe. Her shinning red hair is neatly trimmed and brushed, reflecting the light of a fireplace almost as well as her bright green eyes. Sirius stands there, gaping at the living, pretty Lily until she smiles tightly and ushers him in from the cold, draping a cloak from a side table over his shoulders. Sirius leaves the now-empty cocoa mug on the same table and hugs her tightly before she can step away. 

"Oh god…Lily…" He can almost remember what she smells like, rosemary and the kind of hot, fresh scent that reminds him of summer. Her shoulders shake under his fingers and he realizes she's crying.

"You know…you know who I am?" He whispers, not quite sure what to do. The Lily he'd remembered would never cry.

"We know. You're the time traveler. I…Dumbledore told me you'd come." She turns away from him and he can't see her face. The silence is very uncomfortable, and when she leads him to the couch that Peter had died on, it's hardly broken by a "hello" from the old wizard sitting by the hearth. Dumbledore stares at him in friendly passivity from behind his familiar old half moon spectacles.

"Dumbledore! You knew what time I was from?" He hadn't really believed anyone would know, after all he was in that time for only a little while, barely spoken to anyone.

"You gave us the year, dear boy. We've been waiting for a confirmation. Now we have it. Come and sit, Sirius Black. I believe you've had a long, rough night?" he gestures and Sirius collapses into the place Peter had sat, waiting for his friend's murder. The memory, though so recent, is clouded. He still doesn't know what state of mind he was in at the time.

"You've done so much, Sirius…I don't know if I should thank you or…" it's Lily, still weeping. She sits in the chair James had always loved to bounce on when they were still children.

"What did I do? What's happened here? To Diagon Alley? I don't get it. Where's James and Remus, if you knew I was coming? Are they here?" He hasn't thought of it until he says it, the unspoken fear. Sirius had always assumed that if anything, they would be the first to welcome him into the life he'd created. He'd done it for them, after all. For James.

Lily hides her face behind her hair as she cries, shaking her head. Dumbledore puts a hand on her knee and pats it comfortingly.

"Dear boy…you _have_ done the world a service, haven't you…My friend, Sirius, you are, in all respects, the last Marauder. James died two years ago, Remus just last summer. Horrid thing, really, War. Necessary, but horrid non the less..." 

_The last Marauder. _It echoes in his mind, but Sirius doesn't think too hard about it. Everything, the breakout, the horror and the expectation…for this.

_The last Marauder. No one should have to hear that. No one. _

_Still, **the last Marauder**._

He shakes his head, slowly. It must be a joke. What a cruel trick, that. James hasn't changed a bit, but he has hoped he'd never be the butt of one of these scams. And just back from saving his life, too. Surely Remus wouldn't have let him…he'd known how Sirius can't handle these _death_ things. He doesn't handle death well, Sirius. He cried at Remus's mother's funeral, though he'd hated the woman. _I don't like these stupid tricks of theirs._

"I wish you'd stop. Stop crying, Lily! God! You all know I hate that phrase, _The last Marauder. _Who told you to say it, James? That bastard. I should have let him die…" Somewhere inside he knows this isn't a trick. That no one would ever play a trick like that. Not anyone. He wouldn't even wish this on Snape, that bastard. This empty hollow pain that's just aching to be filled with all the bad things…

"Sirius, I think perhaps you need to see the graves. They're just outside, Harry's too. The first to die, that boy. And we had _so many expectations…_" Dumbledore is as calm as ever, but something in his eyes says that if he hears another word of it he'll explode. Sirius wonders if he's hating the trick, too. How could he? He was never a Marauder. _The last Marauder. _

"God!" But he gets up and follows them to the back door and into the yard. Sirius expects to see a black-clad muggle funeral when he steps out, but instead it's just the yard as he'd remembered it. There are even the Quidditch loops in their places. They walk as a silent procession, except for Lily's stifled weeping, to the little gate that leads off the property. There was a meadow beyond as Sirius remembered it, but now it's a graveyard. Rows and rows of pretty tombstones with the images of their owners playing on them like a silent movie. He'd seen death before, the Aurors dropping around him and Sirius remembers the fear, too. Being so scared that James was one of those pale faces. He remembers clutching Remus's hand at night and thanking god over and over again for their being alive. Now he walks, a little numbly, past all these wasted lives.

They get to the last row, where there are flowers growing, pretty colorful blooms. He looks at the stones blankly, not really paying attention. Dumbledore bends down and brushes a little ivy off a marble tombstone and shows him the movie playing on it. James' movie. He can see the crowds cheering, and James is flying, the best seeker ever. He was there. Sirius was there. He can almost pretend to see Remus in the stalls, cheering. They were there. It doesn't mean anything to him, even as he sees James Potter written carefully in the stone. 

He knows that this is cataclysmic, that it's happened before and he went a little crazy and killed Peter. He's killed Peter twice now, but only one time was for real. Dumbledore looks at him from behind his glasses and Sirius doesn't think to ask _how_ or _Why_. They walk on a little to the end of the row, and there's another tombstone with a Seeker on it. It says Harry Potter on the stone. Sirius remembers holding this tiny bundle in his hands. They'd said he'd make a great father, and Remus joked that they would both die from his cooking. The silent movie shows a boy in scarlet soaring, and another one in green. They fight and one of them catches the Snitch. Sirius watches the colors, wondering how Harry could have died. They haven't even met.

Something breaks. Maybe because now Lily is crying openly without bothering to try and stop. She's been crying for a long time, and he puts a hand around her shoulders. He knows who they're going to visit next. He knows that if he sees that last tombstone he'll be just like Lily, crying his eyes out. All these years and he'd assumed there would be time. Always the assumption.

_"After the war is over."_

_"After I kill Voldemort."_

_"After I visit James."_

He knows he can't see it, but it's already there in his mind. Sirius knows what movie will be playing on it. The one where he became a prefect and his parents were proud for once. Their little misfit werewolf, a Prefect. Nobody wanted that on the tombstone. He wanted a movie where they were Aurors together, partners. Killing all the Death Eaters, as brave as anyone. The best team ever. Of course there was no movie like that, because they'd assumed there would be time later.

Sirius takes his hand off of Lily's shoulder and lets her lean on Dumbledore. She's staring at the tombstone, shaking. That movie is still looping around and around and around. They start to walk, with him in front, until Dumbledore gestures to him from the second last row. 

Sirius stops at the edge of the row, next to a stone with some unfamiliar girl on it. It's an empty grave and there's no movie, but it says Ginny Weasley on the stone. Weasley, like Arthur and Molly. They didn't have a daughter when he'd been dragged off, only sons.

"Come, Sirius. This will help you understand." Sirius shakes his head numbly and says he doesn't want to see any more. He gets it. Everyone's dead. He doesn't want to see any more. Dumbledore comes and takes his shoulder and steers him to that grave—

"I shouldn't be the last Marauder." He says, not looking. Sirius turns around and walks away, back into the yard and the house and out to the lonely road in front. He knows he should cry, but it's too much. They're right below the surface now, the tears. Sirius sits on the front porch and smells the rosemary and looks at the clouds and the barely risen sun. Has it really been that long? Hours? He hadn't noticed. Behind him, Dumbledore comes and sits in the swinging bench that's hanging by the door. 

"What happened?" Sirius is afraid that if he'll start talking about those graves anymore he'll do something violent. Tear out Dumbledore's heart like he wants to tear out Peter's. He's glad when Dumbledore starts talking about the world again.

"A few years ago, Harry's school mate found an object of the deceased dark lord. That was Ginny Weasley; I believe you've seen her grave. She was taken over by an apparition that Voldemort had locked into the diary, an apparition of his sixteen-year-old self. A great man at the beginning of his powers was reborn. Harry…he tried to help. Too late, and was killed. I don't know how his parent's extended survival affected this, but—"

"How do you know? How could anyone…" 

"There are some who specialize in Time management and have reported that before the change, the diary of Tom Riddle hadn't been of much consequence." Dumbledore looked very old, suddenly, when Sirius looked at him he could see new lines and old ones, and a deep, empty sadness like the one he carried. 

"I did that. I did—" he choked. He'd saved two people but killed a thousand. Given them 13 years of life for this. 

"The diary took on reality as Ginny lost it, killing Harry and possessing her completely. Since then, Tom Riddle has become the new darkness that covers the world. He is not of the dead or the living, but is never the less very potent. Ginny Weasley is a sort of latent statue, his source of power. She feeds him her life and has none of her own. I believe the crowd has christened her the Sleeping Queen." He stopped, for a moment, then

"Tom feeds on the power of other wizards, giving it to Ginny and using it through her. He hasn't yet made an official move on the ministry, but Hogwarts is gone from the inside out. James and Remus were both Aurors in the front—"

"Stop." Sirius doesn't want to hear it, this reality. He remembers the empty grave without a movie. The grave of the Sleeping Queen. The Weasley girl.

"What about Arthur and Molly? Tonks, Kingsley…everyone. Where are they? Where's Moody? Are they…?" He knows what the answer is already. All those graves. People he'd killed. All those friends…_The last Marauder._

"The Weasleys are dead, except for, I believe, Charlie and Percy. You know them? And the others, I think, you should see for yourself. The resistance burial grounds are here, unplottable for the sake of privacy." Sirius looks back at where the graveyard must be, thinking of finding Tonk's little stone tucked in somewhere.

"Charlie…" a familiar face, a boy that was always hanging around. Such big green eyes, Sirius remembers. Incredible. He's alive. He doesn't remember Percy very well at all, but he was always very bookish and serious. Not Remus-bookish, either. Nothing like Remus. Remus who was—

Don't go there. Sirius leaves it alone. Time enough later. He laughs at this assumption. Time enough when he's dead, too. 

"There can't be a last Marauder." He tells Dumbledore. The old man nods slowly and rises. 

"At least see the grave, then. There are things that can be done, Sirius, there is still a resistance. We need, well, we need those who've seen this before." Sirius shakes his head. He doesn't care about the resistance anymore, now that everything's gone to hell. He knows how he can fix it. He only needs that tiny little toy…the one with the silver moon. 

"I'm going to fix this." He says, determined. When he comes back he'll see either Remus or a grave with his worst movie playing on it. Not before everything's fixed. 

"No! Sirius, there has been enough. The Time Turners will not help us. You are going on a path that leads nowhere. You've seen what happens. Don't you see the graves? Isn't that enough, all those dead people? You could save the living instead of murdering the dead over and over again." But Sirius is already walking away, wand at the ready. He knows he'll come back soon and see that grave. See Remus. When he's ready to die he'll come and do it here. 

Dumbledore's words don't even penetrate.

"Come see the grave, Sirius, say good bye." But the bus is here, the bang bringing Lily out of the house with her red hair and red eyes, mascara carefully reapplied. He waves, sadly, swearing to return with James. She doesn't understand, and Dumbledore is about to make him come back…

"To The Ministry." He tells the pimply driver, remembering the one from thirteen years ago. He pays for cocoa and curls up in a corner when it arrives, sipping. The numbness that came when he'd killed Peter and Voldemort is there again, and Sirius puts the graves and the little house out of his mind. He begins calculating on a little paper scrap with a pencil he conjured. This time, maybe, he'll succeed. 

***

Dumbledore signs as the Knight Bus disappears, sitting back down on the rocking bench. Lily comes and sits, too. She's pulled herself together and looks rather better than he'd seen her look in a long time. Her hands don't shake and she rocks the bench steadily.

"He's gone to fix it, isn't he? He didn't give up, even after everything…" He can tell the lady is unhappy, as she's been since Harry and James died, since Remus left and didn't come back, since her wards in St. Mungo's became less and less likely to survive.

"I think, perhaps, my dear, that Sirius gave up a long time ago. Or rather, yesterday, when the world was different. Seeing those graves has done nothing to him because they were there the whole time." He smiles at her kindly, patting her knee. Lily is one of the 112 surviving Gryffindors in her school years, out of a total class of almost 900.  

"I know why he didn't want to see it. I know…well, I didn't want to see it, either. I had to. You _forced_ me to. I wish you'd moved that grave yard somewhere else." She frowns at him with a touch of the old fire he remembered in her school years.

"All for the best, my dear, I assure you." Dumbledore looks at the sky, pink and orange from the sunrise. It's beautiful, the calm weather and the smell of rosemary. Lily goes back inside to fix them some breakfast, but he stays out. Sirius will be back soon, into, perhaps, a different world altogether. Somehow, Dumbledore doubts he'll ever see the man again, but he fixes this moment in his memory, for whatever comes.

END 

A/N: I know! It's horrible. Especially since Sirius fixes things by killing himself before he can kill Voldemort, therefore killing his future self (himself) as well. So it's kind of a suicide. Then again, he might just find a way to save the world. Who knows? He might be changing it now. And I should probably go to read some sap before I start on a time turner series that ends with the overtaking of the wizarding world by religious fanatics from a tiny island in the Caribbean. o_O

Now, for technicalities: 

1. I am aware that it's not exactly easy to get into the ministry of magic, and that Sirius probably wouldn't have known where the time turners would be kept.

2. I know that Peter wouldn't have actually been there at the time of the death, and that it doesn't seem very plausible that Voldemort would be killed that easily, but call it creative license. I mean, he wouldn't have been expecting anyone to come, especially not Sirius Black, who was, I'd thin, a little mad to begin with and went worst as the fic moves on. 

3. I know it seems a bit hurried, the fic, and I plan to rewrite it at some point. Myself, I hate the whole damned thing enough to just forget about it, but the fact that it sounds like a newspaper clipping up until the point where he reaches the house is there, non the less.

Oh well, thanks for reading, especially to all those skipping the excessive author's notes. R&R, everyone!! PLEASE!!! ^__^;;


	2. Coming Back

A/N: I swore I wouldn't but here it is. Damn! Oh well. This AU's too big and sad not to finish, and now I'm wishing I hadn't thought of it at all. Now every time I read a happy fic I'm thinking "Sirius is probably so manically depressed from killing his friends dozens of times while trying to save them, he probably wouldn't even be happy here." And OoP isn't helping, either. I hope JKR publishes a lighter book next time, or we're going to be left with no marauders at all!

Seriously, though. If you liked the first fic and you can leave it at that, just don't read this. It's a happy—even, dare I say, Fluffy—ending, and I don't wanna spoil the mood.

**Warnings**: Still a bit of a death!fic (and a little more graphic!), and somewhat OOC, but please keep in mind that this epilogue takes place years after Sirius escaped and started with the time-changing thing. It's cannon that Askaban screwed him up, even without its' full effects working, and I assume that watching everyone die again and again must have helped Sirius along. Also, it's actually cannon that enough of the forbidden curses drive people insane: For example, the Longbottoms.

**Disclaimer**: don't own the song or Harry Potter (& co.). Aren't you glad? Otherwise the series would end up even more screwed up than it's looking!

**Start Again-**

I don't know if you can hear me  
I'm feeling down and can't think clearly  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me.  
  
Some things I'd change but it's too late  
I'll take the past and make it straight  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me.  
  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me. 

Coming Back

Sirius Black doesn't even put down his pack when he comes to the house, just stands there under the window and watches carefully. He used to climb up to the balcony overlooking the garden and see if the attic room's occupied, but he learned not to bother when he found Harry's room deserted (he had moved to Lupin's when his mother went insane, in that time.) Now, he just checks the paper and asks some questions on the street. People never recognize him as a convict, anyway.

This time he thinks it might just have worked, too. Sirius checked the graveyard as soon as he got here, and there isn't one, so that's a good sign. The Quidditch hoops are in repair, too, he notices. Sirius has been praying for every night in the past few years, (and he doesn't know anymore how long it's been. For all his ease with time, Sirius has no idea how long ago he left Askaban and began this quest) praying for something like this. A future where there are no graves, no madness. Where he doesn't have to kill Remus just to have enough time to turn his little trinket. (That time, he almost gave up. Seeing friends dead is one thing, seeing them trying to kill each other is completely another, and that was the last time he tried to change the long-ago past for the better).

He knocks almost hesitantly, because Sirius is tired and afraid, but the living room looks fine and the newspaper has nothing wrong in it. Voldemort's alive, but that's pretty obvious since Sirius didn't kill him. He's starting to think of the beast as immortal, now. Always comes back.

Sirius waits for a while for the door to open, then gives up and goes out back, climbing up the window the same way he used to climb down with James, trying to escape his parents. Now, he gets up easily and alohamora's the door open, walking in. It's James's parent's old room, but now he can see Lily's cat dozing in the sunshine that spills on the bed, and photographs are all over the walls. Harry's is there, his birthday photo where Sirius can see everyone congratulating him. Even the Weasley boy is there, the one who was dead so often. It's pretty recent, so that gives him something of a hope. Usually, Harry doesn't live this long unless his parents are dead.

He looks around again, thinking that if he can find a photograph of Remus everything would be just _perfect_. Sirius doesn't think about James and Lily being dead too much, because her cat's here and he saw James' broom in a corner of the living room when he looked through the window. He's a bit afraid for Remus, but if that's all that's wrong he can always go and save him, then come back. Usually things aren't that easy.

There's nothing that says he's dead or alive, so Sirius gives up and goes to find the Potters. He hasn't spoken to them since that time James tried to blast him for being a Death Eater, but this time it looks to be more or less alright. Sirius wonders vaguely what he's like, here. Once he met himself, or rather, saw himself, and it was creepy to say the least. Sometimes he sees notes he leaves himself, not to change some part of reality that's gone horribly wrong. Sometimes they even meet, but never more than a few words are exchanged. He hopes he's not dead or anything, because that always complicates things. Then again, it's the only way to be sure that there's only one Sirius Black in this time.

"Hello?" Sirius doesn't realize how scared he is of failure until he hears his own voice. It's too quiet and too old to sound like him. He repeats himself, louder, and his voice cracks a bit. There are no sounds of movement, and he walks half way down the stairs before realizing that nobody's home. Sirius can see the kitchen from his place on the stairs, and it's as empty as the rest of the house. Disappointed, he walks the rest of the way down and out the door, locking it before exiting and mounting his broom. He had gotten it after leaving Lily and Dumbledore for the first time, along with a clean set of robes and a haircut. Now, after an indeterminable time of traveling, Sirius knows he still doesn't look proper, but at least no one stares anymore.

He flies on, back towards London. The broom came with a little clip-on compass because it was on clearance and the shopkeeper was grateful to be rid of it. Sirius makes use of it now, and soon he can see the outskirts of the city. He lands while still relatively far away, then wonders the streets. It's almost five and Sirius hasn't eaten since he got into this time this morning, so he grabs a sandwich in a little café, along with coffee and soup.

Since that first disastrous return to Diagon Alley, he'd found a time when it was as it should have been, and had remembered to get half his money transferred to muggle before he left Gringotts.

Now he wonders the city, just looking around. It's familiar, because Sirius used to do just this for hours during the summer, when James was at home and Remus was probably locked in his basement again. That was, of course, before he'd escaped from mother completely. Now, it feels just as lonely out here, even with the muggles pressing in on every side. He checks in at the Leaky Cauldron and pops into Diagon Alley, just to make sure everything's ok. The shops all look a little more battered, but they're all there, and there are no more wanted posters of him. Sirius walks back out and wonders some more until a little girl bumps into him. This shakes him out of it, a bit, and he remembers where Harry and Dumbledore are, where the answers are sure to be. Sirius walks towards a particularly large square and summons the Knight Bus, asking for Hogwarts.

He grins when the huge triple-decker appears with a god-awful bang in the middle of the crowd and nobody notices. The driver, he notices, is a kid who couldn't have finished school yet and looked like a tomato with his acne. Sirius waves, suddenly cheered by this normalcy. Everywhere he's ever been, the Knight Bus is there with him.

"To Hogwarts! Or Hogsmead, rather." He counts out the money and then leaves some extra for lemonade (though he's rather disappointed that there isn't any hot cocoa), then settles down on a bench with bedding strapped underneath. Sirius rather misses the bed, because he hasn't slept at all since the last time he visited. Nobody could have slept there, with the god-awful din the sirens were making. Instead, however, he makes do with his cloak as a blanket and pack as a pillow, not paying attention to the sharp objects inside until one pokes him in the eye. After that, he sleeps curled up in the corner.

The kid wakes him about twenty minutes later, holding out his lemonade, which Sirius takes to go; he can see the familiar old-fashioned rooftops of Hogsmead out of the window. He walks out of the bus and onto the busy street it was apparently not blocking. Sirius takes a breath of fresh air, filled with the familiar smells of the various shops, and looks up, straining to see Hogwarts' towers in the distance. Still smiling, he begins to hike out of the main part of town and towards the castle, sipping the lemonade through a neon green straw.

When Sirius reaches the gates, it's around six thirty. His muggle watch stopped working a little while ago, but he barely notices as he takes in the familiar statues flanking the entrance and the gates, open as always. He walks up and doesn't feel as much like a stranger as he expected, returning here after all these years. The last time Sirius came to Hogwarts his uncle was Headmaster and he'd been welcomed as a pure blood.

The hallway is as it always was, down to the students walking around, heading from one class to another. Sirius remembers exactly where to go, but he wishes he had the old map with him anyway, if just to know where Harry is right now.

He walks towards the staircase leading to the second floor, and then down the hall to where Dumbledore's gargoyle still sits, guarding the entrance. The Sirius that left here had always hated the office, as it often meant he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have, but now the familiar statue is almost like an old friend he'd missed. Sirius is so excited at having his dreams confirmed that he doesn't even remember he doesn't know the password until he turns to go up the staircase that isn't there.

Annoyed, Sirius contemplates going to the teacher's lounge to find McGonegal. He's turned around and heading back downstairs when there's shouting behind him.

"There he is! Sirius, stay still!" He looks back, about to go down the stairs to the first floor and sees Remus, running towards him. His robes are in disarrangement and his normally neat hair is wild, but less gray than he'd remembered. Sirius is so happy to see him he doesn't even notice the light of the spell until he's hit and stumbling, unable to control himself. The last thing he sees before he goes over is Remus, outlined in the light coming from the windows on the second floor, looking down at him.

_Maybe he's an angel..._ he looks perfect in the light, Sirius thinks absently, still struggling against the spell while he's falling down the stairs.

He wakes, blinking like some demented owl at high noon. That's what it looks like, from the window that's right beside the bed. Sirius assumes he's still in the castle because the stone walls of the infirmary are familiar. He thinks, vaguely, that he's probably even been on this bed before. He used to get sent up here all the time.

Everything's fuzzy and he doesn't know how he got here, his thoughts are jumbled and his head hurts. Everything drifts by in his head, as if he's drunk, and Sirius just smiles at the sunshine warming his face and lies still, thinking.

_I must have fallen or something...god, this is...a spell. A spell, I fell because someone stupefied me right beside the stairs...goddamned James, always with his..._ He knows he isn't making much sense, because wasn't James dead? He just saw the graves a few days ago. Or was that a few years, and didn't he save James already? No, it was Remus who was dead. That was why he came here, to find out if Remus was dead. Then someone stupefied him and he fell.

..._Stairs rushing up, and he can't move because the spell, that stupid...Remus spelled him._ No, not Remus. He hasn't seen Remus in so long, and anyway, he'd never really hurt Sirius. It wasn't anyone at all, he must have just fallen. He was so tired, going without any sleep for so long, all those sirens always waking him up.

..._The glint of half moon spectacles, Dumbledore who shouted something and Sirius is falling towards the stairs. _Remus stupefied him and he fell down the stairs and Dumbledore said something. Oh, but aren't they both dead? _Maybe not_. Says the voice in Sirius's head that's not drunk or sleepy. _They wanted to kill you because you were going to save James._ And hadn't that happened before? Hadn't Dumbledore gone mad and tried to kill him before? Yes, in that time when everyone was crazy. The time where he killed Remus.

..._All that blood on the floor, Sirius doesn't know how bursting someone's heart could be so bloody...Ah, but it's because Remus is coughing up blood. He didn't burst his heart after all, it must have been that other spell. Sirius learned so many so long ago and now they're all just..._ Jumbled. It was all so jumbled in his head; he hadn't meant to do anything like that. He hadn't meant to kill anyone, least of all Remus. He'd die for Remus. Just like that. _Let him point his wand at me and..._

"Sirius Black?" There's a face in front of him, a long, old face with huge glinty eyes. Sirius squints up, still mostly dizzy, and sees glasses. The eyes behind the glasses aren't that big, after all. He's just a little dizzy.

"...Yeah?" he doesn't know exactly, but it looks like Dumbledore behind the glasses. _Didn't Dumbledore have glasses?_ He smiles, and thinks he must look doppy like this, all smiling and...yeah. Sirius hasn't been on anything since before he finished school, or, rather, since before he got thrown in jail. He remembers dressing up and rolling little papers and...

"Sirius? Poppy, I believe he fell and..." There's a jumble, someone's talking, and then Sirius sees a nice old lady that starts putting her fingers in his eyes. He frowns at her and tries to push her off, but that turns out to be pretty hard and he's a little disoriented, so eventually she lets go and starts talking to Dumbledore again. She has a high-pitched voice, a bit like his mother. His mother who said that he was dirty for associating with mudbloods and things. She said some bad things before he ran away. That shut her up. Or maybe she's still talking about him...isn't she too old, now? Shouldn't she be dead?

"Is my mother dead?" he asks, and that's apparently funny, because Dumbledore chuckles and pats his hand.

"Poppy, I think it's best if you get the syrup. I'll look after him for now." Sirius frowns, hoping they're not talking about him. He hates syrup. Muggle cough syrup, yuk. Thank god James always said that pumpkin juice and bed are the best medicine. He could just come over and lie low at his house if Remus wanted to feed him syrup.

"I'm going to James' house." He hopes someone will fly him, or at least help him get up and call the bus. And wasn't James _dead_?

"Later, my boy, he can come visit you. For now, though, Remus? I believe you can come in now!" _aren't they all dead? Is this heaven? God must hate me, I mean, that's pretty bad, giving me a concussion in heaven_. He frowns, hoping someone will explain what the hell's going on. _Ok, so...James, James isn't dead. Yeah, and Lily's cat isn't dead (was it ever dead? Wasn't she crying because it was?) And Harry isn't dead because his picture's on the wall...and Remus isn't dead, he's coming to see me now. (a ghost! Damn it, he must have really hated heaven. Maybe he just missed us...but then, he isn't dead)_...

"Sirius? Are you alright?" there's another face very close to his, and it's a man with big eyes. Sirius stares a bit because they're an amazing shade of hazel. He squints at all the little highlights, and realizes that really they're not hazel at all. There's black and yellow and _green_ mixed up, and inside there's somebody on a white bed. That's his reflection: a man on a white bed.

"Sirius?" the eyes blink and there's a hand, it's moving and Sirius looks at that, too. He doesn't remember Remus's hands much, except that they were pale but not sick-pale, like the rest of him. He can see the bones and the little veins in this hand. It's resting on his arm that's resting on his chest. Sirius blinks at it slowly before thinking that he should probably say something.

"Yes." Because yes is always a good thing to say. If no one asked a question, it sounds like you're agreeing. If they did, well, at least you won't miss out on anything. It's confirmed when Remus smiles at him and pats his hand. Sirius thinks that werewolves must be super hot so they can race around at night stark naked, because his hand feels like a furnace.

"I'm sorry that you fell. Madam Pomprey is getting some syrup and that should help a bit. How do you feel?" his voice is very light, like he's talking to a baby. Sirius remembers that Remus was always talking like this to Harry, too. Quietly and calmly and cheerfully. His smile is very white and...pointy. There are a lot of canines in that mouth.

"Did you put a spell on me?" He doesn't want to think that way, but Sirius remembers something of Remus. A little flash, like a dream. He knows he shouldn't say anything, because didn't he _kill_ Remus? And if he did, why isn't he dead? There was a lot of blood. Sirius tries to stop thinking about that, because he hates seeing Remus hurt and he hates that memory. He looks at the pointy teeth and the eyes and the...nose. It's not a very big nose, and it looks a little funny jutting out of the face like that.

"No. I...that was Dumbledore. I'm sorry we did that Sirius. We were afraid you were going to run away or hurt yourself." He's still talking to Sirius as if he were a baby. Remus frowns uncertainly, then his face is gone. Sirius turns his head and when the dizziness passes he realized Remus only sat down. His hand is still stroking Sirius'.

"I wasn't going to...I was trying to find you. And James. Only I know he's alive, just wanted to find you." He smiles, remembering, as if through a fog, that this is perfect. This is exactly what he was looking for.

"Well, I'm here now. I won't leave anymore. And here's madam Pomprey with your syrup. Sit up, this will help." He feels Remus's arms around him, helping him up. It's a bit strange, being held like a little kid. Sirius remembers that he hasn't touched anyone like this in a long time. He's caught up in feeling Remus's hands on him, and doesn't think about the syrup until it's being shoved at his face by the nurse-looking lady. It looks as gooy and overly sweet as anything, and he thinks it must be poison because of the color: bright, liquidy hot pink.

"Open your mouth, Black. Right. Now." She says in her little squeaky voice. He frowns and starts shaking his head and saying no, but as soon as he opens it to protest the spoon's in his mouth and he's choking. Sirius coughs violently for a while, but the thing is done and when he lied down again, he feels better. The fuzzyness has left, and he misses it a bit, because now he has to think of everything. He misses Remus, but he looks around and there he is. Looks just peachy, too.

"How do you feel now, Sirius?" Remus smiles at him, still doing his best baby talk. Lacking his dizzy, head-muddling fuzzies, Sirius realizes this is the voice Remus always uses when he's either too annoyed for words or just in a very, very good mood. Either way, Sirius isn't happy.

"I'm ok. You're not dead...that's, well, good. I've been time traveling for years to get to this, you know." How many exactly, and whether this is his year or the date of some self-caused catastrophe he was trying to fix is still a little muddled. Sirius gets confused by all this at the best of times, now he has no idea what's going on and knows he won't get it until he looks at the date and his little notebook of calculations.

"God...! Professor, I suppose we can go ahead and call them now. I really think he's getting better..." Sirius doesn't know what they're talking about, but Dumbledore tells Remus to let them all have a chat, first. Sirius is starting to feel like a crazy being held until the people in green come and get him, when Remus stops ignoring him and turns back, smiling with his pretty pointy mouth.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I was just wandering, how on earth did you ever get out? Were you really that worried? You could have just called, you know. I'm sorry if I made you go to all this trouble to find us." Sirius is really starting to expect the men in green to come for him, any minute now. Maybe he somehow made himself go insane by seeing himself and...ah, well. Too much speculation.

"Remus, what are you talking about? I'm serious. Jesus, I'm just back from saving James' ass from getting A.K'd by Voldemort! Here's my time turner! I don't believe Dumbledore didn't tell you this..." he fishes around in the pocket of his robes, trying to find the trinket, because it's not around his neck. Sirius gets worried when he realizes he doesn't remember actually putting it away.

"Where's my time turner?" he asks, patting himself all over, just to check. Remus just sits there and smiles at him like he's the best thing since sliced bread, and Dumbledore is signing dramatically and shaking his head. Sirius only realizes what's going on when he takes out the time turner and dangles it in front of him by the long silver chain.

"There! See, Remus? I'm from...well, from now, but in my world James was dead and I went to Askaban for murder...you know, right, Dumbledore?" He's getting pretty frantic now, because Sirius isn't used to this reaction. He's used to the disbelieving silence, and the sort of disapproving silence, and the really, really sad silence, but he'd getting the thought that neither of them actually understand him. It's like talking to a wall.

"Dear boy, I think perhaps you need to listen to him. This is not Sirius Black as you know him." Dumbledore pats Remus on the shoulder, and smiles at Sirius, perfectly calm. He puts the time turner back in his pocket as if it's the most natural thing in the world, and Sirius stares after it. He's not used to not having the little thing, and who knows, this time might turn out to be flawed after all. He hasn't even seen James or Harry yet.

"...Sirius, how did you get a time turner?" He stares at Remus, just not understanding. This isn't really how he expected their reunion. James, when they met, always seemed to understand that this was important, Sirius had always assumed that when he made a world where everything was relatively ok, he'd at least find welcome, too. _And here is Remus Lupin, smiling at me like I'm insane. What does he care where I got my fucking time turner?_

"You're not listening! Wait, alright. Tell me everything about this place. Are James and Lily and Harry alive? I know about Voldemort, but I think I took care of Peter for good now. Just...tell me what this world is like. And for god's sake, stop smiling!" He's mad and he knows it. And that stupid smile is still there. They both sound like they're talking to a five year old. Sirius knows he must be mad or something like that, but... _I wish he'd just stop smiling at me and listen._

"Sirius...? Of course everyone's alive. We can even contact James, I've got the mirror right here... Dumbledore, I think he might be coming around, maybe it was the bump...Sirius, you know what happened to Peter?" Dumbledore shakes his head at Sirius, standing behind him so Remus can't see.

"Remus. This is not, I believe, the Sirius Black you and I know. This time turner was in his possession and I believe he is the one who made us aware of Pettigrew's treachery. Sirius, if you are who I believe you are, then you'll be aware that the Potters are all alive thanks to your intervention fourteen years ago. You must be lenient with us all, however, we are not used to seeing you in your right mind." Dumbledore places his hand on the back of Remus's chair pointedly, and Sirius begins to understand a little:

_It's not a five year old they're talking to, it's mad ol' Black._

"You believe him!" Remus turns around and starts talking as if he isn't right there on the bed. Listening to the quiet conversation, Sirius wanders what happened to himself, where he is right now. What to do. There couldn't be two of him, but unless this other Black stopped being insane long enough to grab a time turner, go back and save James and forget to come back that would be the case.

"...Sirius? You remember what happened when we made you secret keeper and Voldemort came?" Remus has turned around from his conversation and is watching him. He isn't smiling anymore; in fact, Sirius is disturbed when he sees his friend's expression. The sharp teeth are twisted into a painful-looking half smile, and the eyes look clouded, a little sad and angry.

"How can I? Look, I told you, I came to the past to take care of Pettigrew, and I left. You made me secret keeper for James. Apparently I went crazy at some point. I came here right after I killed Peter...actually; I think I might have stopped to help out when Harry was 12 and saves Ginny Weasly.... How the hell should I know?!" He doesn't mean to shout, but these stupid questions are driving sleepless, hungry Sirius straight up the wall. He regrets it immediately when Remus' face crumples from the little half smile into something even more painful. It looked like he's going to start screaming, too.

"I'm sorry. I'm just very used to being patient, I think. I'm sorry I'm asking all these questions, Sirius." He looks a little sad and defeated, but then the stupid smile is back and Remus is patting his hand again.

"I suppose we won't be calling St. Mungo's, Dumbledore?" Sirius groans and leans back, staring at the ceiling. This wasn't how he'd expected his return to society. Remus turns back, smiles, and asks if he wants anything to eat.

"...No...wait. Yes!" Sirius hasn't eaten since that sandwich earlier today, or rather yesterday. He hasn't noticed how hungry he is until Remus leaves to get something from the kitchen. He regrets it a little when he's left alone with Dumbledore, though. The old man isn't smiling like Remus and _that's_ a relief, but he's frowning and looks a little like he had when he'd attacked Sirius.

_He's tried to kill me twice, now..._ the thought is uncomfortable, because Sirius had always assumed that Dumbledore would be the first to help him, as always. He still doesn't remember too much from his fall down the stairs, but he remembers last time: Dumbledore standing there, very quietly, saying that he has to come here now and give back the time turner. Sirius hadn't of course, because that would mean staying in the time when everyone was dead again, and he'd barely deflected the curse that might have crippled him. Thankfully, he'd only had a few more turns to go before he'd gone back in time and fixed everything, but the few seconds that took were the most hard-earned in his life.

"Do you intend to leave again, Sirius Black?" the voice is very calm, and almost inviting if he doesn't look at the face. Dumbledore looks something between angry and sad, and Sirius realizes that it's so unusual because he rarely shows emotion. He's about to say yes, automatically, when he realizes that this is it. That if James and Remus are alive, and so is Harry and Lily, he has nothing to fix. _Everything's perfect_. The thought is rather sadder than he'd expected; that the traveling is over and he's free to go on with life. He can stay in this time with Remus and James, and everything would be perfect.

"I guess not. You don't think I'm insane, do you?" the thought bothers him as much as Remus's blank, sad little smiles do. It feels like he's in a room full of strangers.

"No, but frankly, Sirius, I wasn't expecting you to come here to Hogwarts if you ever returned. My knowledge of your travels is very limited, as the spells required to keep time at bay from any records are rather complex, but I believe you. I'm sorry, dear boy, if this welcome seems strange. It's only that no one here had really expected you to be making any sense." Sirius feels very lonely at these words; everything seems so strange, this world he'd created where even Remus doesn't take him seriously. It unnerving, being distanced from his own time as much as any other.

"I just wanted to find you, ask about this place. So...why did I go crazy, anyway?" Dumbledore is about to reply when Remus comes back in with some stew and a cup of something smelly. He puts them on the bedside table and smiles a little emptily at Sirius, sitting down quietly and watching him eat. Sirius is a little unnerved by the silence, and in a corner of his mind, a voice is saying: _Why is it so strange? You don't even remember what Remus was really like anymore._ He frowns a bit and sips his soup, not looking up. He listens to Dumbledore's familiar, unchanging voice.

"We don't know everything, I'm afraid, but you showed up a few days before James and Lily went into hiding and wouldn't be appeased until we'd subjected Peter to truth serum. He's been branded as traitor and sent to Askaban. You insisted on appointing yourself as Secret Keeper, and this I suppose saved the Potters' lives?" Dumbledore looks at him carefully for a few moments, measuring something Sirius doesn't understand, then continues.

"Whatever the case, you were captured and tortured for several weeks, at which point I had already remade the spell with myself as secret keeper. There was an official rescue party, which used, I believe, blood magic? Was that it, Remus? You were rescued but there was some considerable damage to your mind. Currently, Sirius Black is enrolled as a (most likely permanent) patient at St. Mungo's." He smiles sadly and takes the empty bowl Sirius was staring at, putting it on the table. When he looks up, Sirius notices Remus isn't looking at him.

"So there's what, two of me here now? How does this work?" He's been thinking about this for some time, but the problem never really mattered, until now. Is that even possible, having two of the same person from the same time there at once?

"This is a very unusual situation, dear boy, but theoretic study tells us that when you came to this time your existence pushed the other Sirius Black out of the continuum, or at least, out of this continuum. This is the first case of such travel known to me, but I assure you, this world will not begrudge a second Sirius Black." He smiles and motions for Sirius to start on the cup, which turns out to be some sort of tea, then sits back and steeps his hands together, looking suddenly cold and aloft.

"You are not who you appear to be." Remus' voice seems somewhat colder than Sirius had expected. Looking in his old friend's face he sees that the stupid smile has faded to be replaced with a blankness that is even more disturbing.

"Well, I guess you're not exactly the Lupin I remember, either. That one didn't treat me like a five year old." He doesn't mean to sound so harsh, but the disbelieving coldness after everything seems to only help the impression that has been growing on his mind: _You're not welcome here._

"I'm sorry if I offended you, but we have all had good practice in not listening to a word you say and understanding anyway." There's a tiny smile on his face that is the first good expression Sirius has seen from Remus in over 13 years. He remembers the last very clearly, because it was at their private little celebration for Harry. Everyone was smiling because James had given him the baby and Lily was so proud their godfather could handle children. She'd been afraid that he would be too impatient and rough. Remus had smiled right through the whole thing, even when little Harry had grabbed his nose and wouldn't let go.

"Yeah, I can just hear the tales now: 'children, behave or Crazy Black will get you!'" He wants to take it back as soon as he says it, because Remus turns stone cold and Dumbledore looks up. Then he smiles uncertainly and nods, trying to pass off the poor joke. Sirius wants to apologize but he can tell it won't help. He can see the distance between them now, knows all too well that he'll never be able to speak of that past with these houses full of closed doors and shackled windows.

"Sorry. So...how is James? Are you two still Aurors?" He tries to crack a smile, make a proper joke, and Remus echoes the poor attempt right back. Sirius sees the hesitation there: that moment when the stupid, simple smile is back and he's about to lie and say something comforting and safe. Then it's gone and they're just two old friends, talking.

"I'm actually teaching here, Defense Against the Dark Arts. James is still an Auror, he's been made head of his division, and Lily is of course still in St. Mungo's. She's the one who's...looking after you. I mean Sirius. Well...you. The other you." He smiles weakly and shrugs a bit in a gesture that's familiar, gracefully uncertain Remus, straight out of Hogwarts. Sirius thinks about this a bit: that he's a _teacher_ now. Professor Lupin even sounds halfway decent. He tries to grin about it, thinking of their Remus who couldn't control him and James shutting up a class of little brats that all look like 12-year-old Harry.

"Wow! Professor Lupin, is it? Is he any good?" He asks Dumbledore, happy to steer the conversation away from St. Mungo's. The mental image of Lily smiling stupidly and spooning soup into a drool-y, droopy Sirius's mouth is very unnerving.

"I believe the Gryffindors have christened Professor Lupin as 'the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, ever.'" Remus coughs and smiles awkwardly, and Sirius grins. The idea looks kinda good now that the strangeness factor is fading. _Professor_ Lupin! He grins and thumps Remus on the back, almost overbalancing and falling off the bed, trying to reach him.

"I like this choice of profession. Sirius...are you, well, _staying_ here? That is, are you going to time-travel again?" Remus smiles uncertainly and tries to make it easy, but he sounds a little too excited to pass it off. Sirius thinks this over, though he's already decided. A time where Remus is a professor, James and Lily are alive, as is Harry, and himself in no place to kick Sirius out! He continues grinning as he taps his chin in pretend-meditation, then nods solemnly.

"I think this is sufficiently changed from the time I left. Why, any particular reasons you want me gone?" He smiles, only a little, when Remus looks flustered and shakes his head, professing that it would be nice if he stayed. He stares until Remus stops talking and looks blank for a moment, then simply smiles and extends his hand.

"Welcome back to the future, Sirius Black. I imagine this is the most civil welcome you'll receive, after the Potters hear about this!" They shake on it and Sirius looks at the pale hand in his again, smaller than he remembered, stronger, too. Rough and careworn. He remembers the year when Remus's hands looked tiny to him, because he hit puberty late and didn't growth-spurt until their third year.

"Uh...I guess I'll be crashing at your shack until I set up here, or whatever..."

"My 'shack' is in the school, and it only has one bedroom." Remus smiles at him and raises an eyebrow. He looks like a picture out of their seventh year yearbook, smart, with a bit of James' damned sarcasm and something sweet that's perfectly his own.

"It's ok, I'm used to sleeping in odd places!" Sirius says, determined to stay as close to everyone as possible. He conveniently disregards the suggestion.

"That's also a possibility..." They exchange a look and grin, and Sirius swears to get a shared apartment as soon as humanly possible, even if he has to sell his soul for it.

Dumbledore picks up the remains of the lunch and excuses himself, walking out of the little alcove and drawing the curtains. As he walks down the now-empty halls, he creates a tiny portal in the air, the other side of it displaying a private room in St. Mungo's. There are fresh flowers, brought in by frequent visitors, in a vase by the bed. On the same bedside table stands an old copy of a photograph of a graduation party, where four old friends gather together, smiling drunkenly.

There is no one in the room.

Dumbledore cracks a smile, though it is uncertain if this is a sad or happy one, and sends the plates floating towards the kitchen, changing his course to his own private office. Sometimes, he remembers, even the greatest of wizards make mistakes. And sometimes things work out well in spite of themselves.

**END**

A/N: and there it is. If it's still unclear, then the short version: Sirius makes huge, repeated changes, then catches himself in time and tells whether they worked or not. This is one future he made. Just to clarify: The thing with the room in the end _is_ Sirius's room in the hospital, and he _is_ gone, and probably still insane. Whether he's loose in time or just in London, you decide.

Originally I wasn't going to post this, but someone wanted a sequal. I hope this doesn't disappoint!

**Review, everyone! Please!!!**


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